Stop Wishing for “Easy”

I was asked today to speak to a group to let them know that it gets better. To let the audience know that, even though it is hard, later it will be easier. Now, I have been called out by friends in the past for slipping into “victim mode” and I’ve had my share of daydreams for the easy way to appear. The craving for easy is in all of us. But, decades ago, I began training. I was in college and had a lot of angst to burn. I trained hours a day. Then I wondered if I would physically die if I worked out for 24 hours straight. Then I mountain biked 160-miles through the rain from Boulder, CO to Wyoming and back in a single day. I had found the beauty of doing something very, very hard. Because of that I started paying attention to the topic. Phrases like, “Comfort does not equal happiness.” were often used in my conversations about endurance racing and about life overall.

Heat And Pressure

What is the difference between charcoal and a diamond? They are made of the same stuff, but the diamond has been forged in a kiln of heat and pressure. It takes extreme circumstances to undo the arrangement of atoms in one and rearrange them into the atoms of the other. SO my answer to the request to explain that, “It gets better” was to point out that this difficult, this “hardness”, was not a phase to wait it out. It is not that, “This too shall pass.” Instead, this is their opportunity. This is where they have the chance to do the work and transform under heat and pressure into something beautiful and rare, into something precious. It is not automatic. the challenge has to be met. The challenge has to be embraced. The heat and pressure must be welcomed in and the old elf must dissolve and the new self must forge - and this can only happen when the person is committed to growth and strength.

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